I Don’t Want To And You Can’t Make Me!

angry girlMy inner 5 year old is pitching a fit. You see, we made a writing playdate with a treasured colleague, because we want to write. A lot. Regularly. Because we’ve got a lot to say. And we think, with some humility, that maybe some of it will be valuable for others (maybe even you) to read. And we truly hate to deprive you of anything. ‘Cuz we really like you.

And now, my ornery inner kid is working up to a temper tantrum because, while she loves to do many, many things, she hates to “have to” do anything. (She is completely done with being a “good girl”). And it seems that once something gets on the calendar and begins to approximate a “practice” or (gasp) a “discipline,” (No, not that! Anything but that!) she wants no part of it. Even if it is something she loves more than a freshly opened box of Crayolatm crayons. (Exasperated sigh).

So today I give in to the truth that “I don’t want to and you can’t make me!” and meet it with curiosity rather than force or denial.

Let’s stay in the energy of “you can’t make me” and let’s see what happens. And if at any point pen touches paper in this exploration, or fingers dance across keyboards, bonus!

I don’t want to…? What, exactly? Here’s a quick top-of-head list:
I don’t want to:
…be forced to do anything
…get to the end of the day and feel like I haven’t experienced an accomplishment
…eat beets
…get started then have to end before I’m finished
…be too serious

OK. (excuse me while I talk back to myself — hope it doesn’t get too confusing).  I hereby declare that you do not want and will not be made to:

  • do anything by force
  • have an empty day with no accomplishment
  • eat beets of any shape, form, or preparation
  • stop before you are ready
  • or be a too-serious sour puss.

(And I really mean it!)

You know, “I don’t want to and you can’t make me” is such a classic expression of the dynamic tension of freedom vs. structure. And oppositions, being what they are, always hold within them an equally powerful flipside. If “I don’t want to and you can’t make me” is true, then so too is “I want to, and you can’t stop me.” Hmmm…now that’s interesting.

Let’s tickle the “I wants.”
I want…
…to feel a sense of freedom and fun
…to feel the sunshine on my face
…to pet the cat who has parked himself in front of the computer screen
…to jump up and down and shout “Ta Da!”
…to post a fun article today

Resistance disappears when there is nothing to push against. How curious.

Ta Da!!

2 thoughts on “I Don’t Want To And You Can’t Make Me!”

  1. No ‘have to’s’…. none of those allowed! I’m learning the key is ‘choosing to’ or even better, ‘wanting to’! Following the path of the flow of energy, listening with your heart, trace the sound of laughter. It is there in our every day…. listen for it…

  2. The Idea Midwife

    Hi Sherwood. Well said. I couldn’t agree more. Whenever we tell ourselves we “have to” we create stress, a feeling of being trapped, and often a desire to lash out at…something, anything. Yuck! And beyond all that, it’s a big fat lie. If it is physically possible to not do the thing we think we “have to” do, then we really don’t “have to” do it. So, if you want to feel more free and less stressed, find the lie in the “have to” and tell the truth — “I’m choosing to,” “I may not want to but I am deciding this is my best alternative at this moment,” etc. This is one clear case of “the truth will set you free.”

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